$37 and a trip to the Courthouse

My dad called two nights ago and left a message for me while I was taking my mid-day nap. It said, “I have some news for you.” I was worried. Dad rarely calls. Don’t get me wrong - we talk for hours on end, but I am usually the one doing the dialing. When I call him, he says, “I got you a new mom.” I didn’t get it. Then, he spelled it out “Betty and I got married.” They have been partners for over 22 years. I was tickled to death. Tying-the-not involved $37, a trip to the courthouse, and a waived three-day waiting period. Over the years, I have asked why they never married. I have never gotten a serious answer. Usually, they say they are happy; why get married and have a piece of paper to prove it? They do everything together. They share homes, cars, and do their taxes together. Why now? Because Dad said it had never been important. He said he didn’t realize how important it was to Betty. In a conversation, she told him that she didn’t want to die without belonging to someone. How powerful. Dad said he realized how important it was to her, and now, she belongs to someone. Betty has always belonged to us. She has always been my family. She was born to be the mother of mothers. She gives away a love that is truly unconditional. I never have to earn her love; she gives it to me like a gift waiting to be opened each time we talk. She doesn’t judge me. I know I can tell her anything, and she will be honest with me and love me regardless of what I have to say. I know she will not respect or love me any less if I do something that she disagrees with, so I don’t have to fear telling her the bad things in life. She bares the burden with her love. Dad just confirmed what I have always known, that Betty is my mother.

There is a moment each day that I could see how much Betty and my father loved each other. It was always well before dawn, 3 or 4AM. When I would wake up in the night, I would often find them sitting in the dark, drinking coffee – sometimes talking, sometimes not. This moment told me they loved each other. I don’t know why it defines their love for each other, but in my mind, it does. How often do you see couples sitting and discussing anything and everything? And, do you see them doing it regularly? You may not see them talking so deeply the rest of the day. They may not eat dinner together or watch tv together or even sleep together, but before the rest of the world wakes, they belong only to each other.